Menus lost in translation

Posted on Mon Feb 8th, 2010 @ 9:55am by

632 words; about a 3 minute read

Mission: FORGING AHEAD
Location: Crabby Bob's Crab and Seafood Shack

Crabby Bob had almost finished setting up Crabby Bob's Crab and Seafood shack.

"Hey Schmuck! Don't drop the 19th Deep Fryer while you are installing that thingymabbober." Bob yelled.

A Starfleet Engineering Ensign came very close to flipping the man the bird, but somehow refrained, as he installed the 19th, and final Deep Fryer.

"Did you get the Fusion Reactor installed, Schmuck?" Bob asked.

"Yo Chief, this guy keeps calling me a schmuck. What the hell is that?" The Engineer asked someone over his communicator. A brief reply ensued, which did not make the Engineer feel any better about himself.

"Uhm... Hello." Inzu said to the man.

"What?" Bob asked. "I'm not open yet. You can't have a good deep fried meal yet."

"Uhm... well... I was looking for the Oriental Tea Room." Inzu replied.

"Wrong Floor, and wrong room, schmuck. This is Deck 142 C-219. You are looking for C-149." Bob said, as he kept a watch on the Starfleet Engineer.

"Uh... okay..." Inzu muttered.

"Oh, sorry kid." Bob said, as he looked at Inzu, and realized the man might have been all of 19. His southern drawl fell into place. "I apologize for being so mean to ya. Would you like a complimentary slice of deep fried cheese cake?"

"Deep Fried... Cheese... Cake." Inzu said, questioningly.

"Yeah, it's the only menu item I have ready just right now."

"Uhm... well... do you have anything to drink to go with it?" Inzu asked.

"I've got a keg of my bollygowan water. That's about the extent of it." Bob replied.

"Bollygowan water? What planet is that?" Inzu asked.

"It's no planet, boy. It's a drink from earth. Potent stuff. Knock you right off your feet."

Inzu took an involuntary step back. "Please don't hit me."

"It's a drink kid, not a challenge to a fight."

"My apologies." Inzu muttered, confused.

"Here ya go, boy." Bob said, as he handed Inzu a mug of greenish brown... goop... and a slice of a crunchy-looking treat.

"Uh..." Inzu said, as he sat down in the corner, out of the way. "I've never even seen food like this before." He muttered.

A spoonful of cake, and a sip of the drink, and Inzu realized that the Bollygowan water was alcoholic. Not synteholic. He had never had alcohol before.

"This is.... remarkably delicious. I didn't know you could do this to food." He said, amazed, as he quickly wolfed down the rest of the plate, and the bollygowan water quickly followed.

As he got up, to leave, he looked at the shop keeper.

"When will you be open for business?" Inzu asked.

"As soon as these schm..." Bob stopped himself, and fell into character. "As soon as these here city folks finish installin everythin, without breakin any of it, I'll be ready to open the store."

Inzu nodded. "Could you leave a note for Cadet Inzu Jan of the Alabama when you do? I'd like to try out more of the menu."

"You lookin at me like I'm some kind of voodoo worker kid. It's not rocket science. I take good food, and deep fry it, makin it better." Bob replied.

"Regardless, I will have to have more of that cake." Inzu said, as he left the restaurant.

"What a nice kid." Bob muttered, and then watched the Starfleet Engineer drop the 19th Deep fryer on his foot. Again.

"STUPID SCHMUCK!" Could be heard echoing throughout the immediately surrounding area of the promenade for nearly half a kilometer.

================

NPC:
Crabby Bob
Crabby Bob's Crab and Seafood Shack Owner/Operator/Chief Cook and Bottle Washer
USB Typhon

Played by:
Doctor Faron Lenar,
UFP Ambassador,
USB Typhon

USS Alabama NPC:
Cadet Inzu Jan
Engineering Cadet,
USS Alabama

Played by:
Lieutenant Junior Grade Joey Chaplin,
Chief Engineering Officer,
USS Alabama

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