Shrinking the ACSecO

Posted on Sat Feb 13th, 2010 @ 5:44am by Lieutenant Cole Russo & Commander Dhindara Vrel

1,143 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: FORGING AHEAD
Location: Counsellor's Office
Timeline: before Russo got ill

Cole arrived at the counsellor's office early, and rang the chime waiting to be admitted for his psych eval.

"Come in", Dhindara said, looking over to the door. She wasn't expecting anyone yet, she was just setting up her office. Most was still standard, so far she had only changed out the armchair, the sofa and the small coffee table with something more comfortable, softer. There was also a plate with chocolates on the table.

Cole entered the room and handed Vrel a PADD with his home personality test and took a seat. "Just need to be cleared for duty."

Dhindara looked at him. "Well, good morning to you, too", she greeted, putting a bit of emphasis in her words. "I'm Dhindara Vrel. I'm sorry, but I don't think I caught your name."

"Cole Russo," Cole was uncomfortable around shrinks.

Dhindara smiled at him, sitting down and crossing her legs. "Why don't you tell me a bit about yourself?" she asked. "For example, why does entering this room fill you with so much anxiety?"

"I don't like having people in my head." Cole said, "I know that sounds stupid coming from a Betazoid, but I've had some pain in my past and it is not something I like to focus on."

"Sometimes, we need to focus on the pain", Dhindara replied. "For if we ignore it, we don't have control about what it does to us."

"Perhaps," Cole consented, he had left his pain buried now for so long, it felt as though it would rip him apart if he were to delve into it.

"Tell me about it", Dhindara said. "Let's see if we can't help you."

"I had a difficult time, during the dominion war." Cole said.

"You're going to have to give me a bit more than this to work with", Dhindara said, taking a piece of chocolate from the table in the centre of the room. "If it helps, you can transmit telepathically to me."

Cole sighed before he looked into his memories; Cole was in the cockpit of his Peregrine class warp fighter, "Blue Falcon, bank right heading 232.45" the voice of Ral Maxel came over the comms.

Cole banked left, the group of fighters in tight formation. The group was under heavy fire. Cole watched, as if in slow motion, as a plasma torpedo impacted on Ral MaxelMaxel's fighter. The fighter was a ball of flames and then a shower of debris raining down on Cole's fighter, impacting his fighter's engines, Cole's fighter careened into the planet's atmosphere and crashed into the desert. Cole slipped in and out of consciousness for days. He was in traction for over a week and that was the last time Cole flew anything. Cole was sweating and shaking as he transmitted flashes of memories.

Dhindara took it in. The images themselves weren't so bad. His reaction to them was, however. He'd been through a battle, been shot down and wounded. She was pretty certain that wasn't the problem here. "Tell me about Ral Maxel."

"He was like a brother, taught me how to fly. He had the most incredible sense of humour and this laugh." Cole said "He was human but when he looked at you you felt like you got lost in his eyes like he could read, you."

"He was the best pilot I knew." Cole almost whispered, "It should have been me, he took a torpedo meant for me and I never even got to say good bye." There was more, more Cole could never say, more he had never said, more he would never acknowledge.

He didn't have to acknowledge. "He was your partner, wasn't he?"

"What, no..." Cole said.

"Hmm, then who was he, do you?" Dhindara asked.

"He was my best friend" Cole said, He could never understand the feelings he had for Ral.

"That explains things", Dhindara said quietly. "I thought he was your flying partner, but best friend... yes, that explains why you're feeling the loss."

"Yeah he was our squadron leader," Cole said, "But he steered the ship in front of the torpedo meant for me."

"What makes you say it was meant for you?" Dhindara asked.

"The weapon was fired at my fighter, Ral flew his fighter to intercept the torpedo." Cole said, his eyes damp, "He always looked out for me, called me his little brother."

"Tell me", Dhindara said, "how do you feel about him?"

"When I lost him, it felt like I lost a part of myself," Cole said, "I no longer had the passion to fly, I couldn't even look at another fighter, I still can't bring myself to pilot a space craft."

"I hate to break it to you, but you'll have to get back into the seat. You should have years ago", Dhindara responded.

"Why should I have to, being in security doesn't require me to fly." Cole said.

"It's to confront you with what you're uncomfortable with", Dhindara responded. "You should have gone right back to flying after recovering from your injuries. The longer you wait the harder it becomes, as your skills get rusty as well. It's necessary for your mental health, however, that you confront your fears."

"I'm not really afraid of flying. I used to love it" Cole said. "I just have no desire to fly any more, there is just too many bad memories."

"I know you don't have the desire", Dhindara replied. "And this isn't about getting you back to flight status. It's about confronting you with your emotions. You need to confront them, rather than avoiding them."

"I'm not any good to anyone else if I am sitting at home wallowing in my own grief," Cole said, "I would prefer to focus on how I can be useful now."

"Agreed, you should", Dhindara responded. "You're going to be a lot more useful once you've sufficiently processed your grief."

"I'm afraid that if I process my grief, I will never recover," Cole said.

"The way towards recovery is to process your experiences", Dhindara responded.

"You're not going to let this go till I go through it, are you?" Cole said. "Fine, what do I need to do?"

"You need to go fly", Dhindara replied. "Let's start with a shuttle, for I'd like to be in there with you."

"Well then, we should probably reserve a runabout as soon as possible." Cole said reluctantly.

Dhindara nodded. "How does tomorrow afternoon at 1500 sound for you?"

"That's agreeable." Cole said.

"Then I'll let you return to duty for today", Dhindara replied. "I'll get with your department head about sending you into the hangar tomorrow, so he won't put you on another job."

"Sure thing," Cole said as he stood hastily to make his departure. "I'll see you then."

=/\\= End of Transmission =/\\=

Lieutenant Commander Dhindara Vrel
Counsellor

Lieutenant Cole Russo
Assistant Chief Security Officer

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