How She Handles Things

Posted on Sun Jul 18th, 2010 @ 12:06am by Captain Anna Johnson & Commander Ian Casey

2,924 words; about a 15 minute read

Mission: On Typhon Station
Location: Various
Timeline: Day after Trouble in Paradise

Anna finished her shift that day. Once she had regained her composure and discarded of the crushed lilies Anna made her way to her quarters. She took a sonic shower and changed into a purple dress perfect for dancing. It had spaghetti straps and came just below her knees and the skirt of the dress was flowing. Anna curled her hair, made sure her make-up was perfect and put just a small hint of perfume on. Once her shoes were on she grabbed a handbag and stepped out into the main area.

Jana was there waiting for her. She knew her sister, she knew what Anna was going to do. "Anna don't do this please. Stay here talk to me about this."

Anna looked at Jana and blinked back the tears, "I need a night out tonight. I have the day off tomorrow its the perfect night to get this done." She answered. "I talked to Amy's mom she said if you want you can come hang out with Amy there or Amy can come here and stay the night. Don't wait up for me I'll be out late." Anna said and gave Jana a hug then left the room.

Jana shook her head if she wasn't afraid Anna would kill her she would talk to Ian herself but she was staying out of it.

Anna took the path that would most likely involve passing Ian at one point or another and made her way to one of the bars on the station. One of the more quiet bars where fights rarely broke out. With what she was intending and the anger and hurt she had bottled up she didn't need to be near a fight or she'd end up in the brig. She walked with a purpose drawing the attention of many a man as she walked by but not giving any of them a glance as she passed.

Ian paused in his conversation and turned to see what Eric was staring at. It took him a moment but when he finally saw Anna he felt his heart skip a beat. She looked so beautiful. "I'll talk to you later," he said to Eric before he moved to follow her.

Anna arrived at her destination and sat down at the bar. Again the owner here knew her as well since she was who helped make sure shipments got to the right places when they arrived. "Anna you look lovely this evening. What can I get for you?" Sean asked with a thick Irish accent.

"Your best Irish Whiskey." Anna said.

Sean nodded and set a tumbler on the counter and poured her a cup. As his hand moved away she grabbed it with one hand and placed several strips of gold pressed latinum on the bar, "Leave the bottle," Anna said.

Sean looked at her and at the latinum and let go of the bottle and picked up the payment. "Alright lass let me know if you need anything else."

Anna picked up the glass and drunk its content in one go and refilled the glass before turning to people watch as she started on the second glass.

Ian stepped inside and paused by the door, scanning the room. He saw Anna sitting at the bar. He considered sitting next to her and trying to talk to her but he wasn't sure if he should. He turned and walked to a nearby table and sat down. He shifted his chair slightly so he could see her and signaled for the waiter.

A young man came over to where Ian sat, "What can I get you tonight sir?" He asked.

"Draylaxian whiskey," Ian replied, trying not to stare at Anna. He wondered if she'd worn that dress on purpose, knowing that purple was his favorite color.

Anna continued to look around the room and noticed Ian had come in she finished off the glass she was drinking a poured a third. Sean watched her a moment, "Anything she wants tonight she gets its already covered." He said to the other person behind the bar. With a nod he moved toward her, "Do you want anything to eat tonight?" He asked Anna.

She looked up her eyes watery then cleared her throat. "Club sandwich and fries please." She answered and drank down half of the third glass. One thing Anna liked about this bar is it often played music from the mid 20th century. As she sat there the song "One is the Loneliest Number," started to play.

Ian thanked the waiter as the man set his drink on the table and he sipped it as he looked at Anna again. It was killing him to be so close to her and not being able to talk to her.

Anna was starting to feel the buzz of the drinks now which is what she had wanted all along. Numb the pain she couldn't push down anymore. It wasn't long before her food was set in front of her. By now she was on her forth tumbler of whiskey. Several men had stopped and asked her to dance but she declined. She glanced toward Ian again but didn't look at him for long before turning back to her sandwich.

Ian couldn't take it anymore. He finished his drink and stood up, carrying it with him as he walked to the bar and stood next to Anna. He signaled for another one then looked at her. "Are you really going to drink your sorrows away rather than talk to me about it?"

"Works for me," Anna said as she refilled her glass once more, the bottle in front of her now half empty. Anna started to ask him which one he had been interested in first but she didn't. If it had been her then it meant she wasn't good enough so she didn't want to know. Tears started to roll down her cheeks and she looked over at him. "What hurts the worst is I still love you but now I can't trust you." Anna said then lifted her glass to her mouth. Her hand was shaking as she did.

Ian grabbed her arm to stop her from taking another drink. "Anna, stop," he said to her. "Getting drunk isn't the answer. You're mad at me so take it out on me," he added. "I deserve it."

"I can't take it out on you." She said with tears in her eyes. "That's not how I handle things. I bottle them up and when I can't do that anymore I numb the pain if I can. It's how I've survived this long. Its why I don't give my heart to someone easily or lightly anymore." She said and swallowed hard. The room was spinning a bit for her now but she wouldn't admit that right now, however now that she was sufficiently drunk she was finally crying and letting out the hurt.

"Anna," Ian said, reaching out to put his hand on her shoulder. "I told you, I didn't mean to hurt you. I hate myself for doing that. I'll do anything to make it up to you. Just tell me what you want."

"I want to know I'm good enough. That you weren't just dating me to see if you could get me into bed and when I wasn't fast enough you moved on to someone else." Anna said almost screaming now. "I want to know that everything you said to me wasn't a lie and that you do love me but I don't know that I can ever know that now." She said then pulled her arm out of his and stood to leave but staggered as she did and had to catch herself on the edge of the bar.

"Anna," Ian said, standing up and putting his arm around her to support her. "I do love you. If I didn't, do you think I would be here now?"

"But you love her too." Anna said, "You slept with her." She leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. The room was spinning more now. She was taking in his smell, his warmth she might hate herself for it later but he was holding her again he wanted to be with her again. She was a jumble of emotions but in no condition to push him away or even walk away at the moment.

"Let me help you back to your quarters," he said, leading her to the door. "I don't want to talk about our future while you're drunk."

Anna leaned against him as they walked out the door. "Jana is at a friends house tonight." Anna said her voice a bit slurred "I was planing on being out late."

"I'll call her when I get you home," he said to her. "You don't need to be alone." He had to admit that it felt good to have Anna in his arms again, but now wasn't the time.

Anna shook her head, "I don't want to bother her." Anna said then wished she hadn't shook her head as her legs turned to jelly shortly after.

Ian put his arm further around her and pulled her closer. "What other choice is there?" he asked her as he helped her onto a lift. "I told you, I don't think you should be alone."

"You can sleep on the couch." Anna said resting her head on his shoulder as the lift moved to her hall.

Ian looked at her and nodded. "If that's what you want," he said as he helped her off the lift. "You look amazing tonight, by the way."

"Not anymore I don't" Anna said. "My make up is running." She answered and reached to key open the door when they arrived. "You could join me in my room too if you want." Anna said as she almost lost her balance once more.

Ian felt her stumble and reached out and picked her up. He carried her through the door and into the sleeping area. He held her close for a moment, marveling at the feeling of being close to her. He moved and set her gently on the bed. He kissed her softly on the forehead then stepped back. "Good night, Anna. I'll be on the sofa if you need anything," he said before walking out of the room.

Anna attempted to reach for him but her arms didn't cooperate. Instead she drifted off on the bed.

The next morning before her eye opened she could feel her head pounding. She reached up and rubbed it and forced her eyes open. How did she get home last night? She sat on the bed a moment trying to clear the cobwebs then remembered part of what had happened the night before. She stood up and slowly made her way into the living room wondering if he would still be there or if he had gone home.

Ian heard the movement and looked up at her. He'd been awake for almost an hour but hadn't wanted to move so he wouldn't disturb her. "How are you feeling?" he asked her as he sat up.

"Like I have a taarg tap dancing on my head." Anna said as she moved to the replicator for something for her headache and some electrolytes to rehydrate her body knowing that was the main reason for the headache in the first place.

Ian stood up and stretched. "I should get going. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"You don't have to go." Ann said, "You can at least stay and eat breakfast.." She said.

Ian looked at her for a moment and nodded. "Did you sleep well?" he asked her.

"A drug induced comma I didn't have much choice did I?" Anna asked and moved over to the replicator. She replicated orange juice, eggs in a basket, and bacon for two and set them on the table. "Normally I have coffee but caffeine won't help rehydrate me. You are welcome to a cup." She said.

"I could use a cup or ten," he said as he stretched again. "Your sofa wasn't designed for sleeping on apparently," he added as he moved to the table and sat down.

Anna moved into the kitchen and pressed a button and a pot of coffee started brewing. She always had one set up to go as soon as the last pot was gone, she then moved to sit with him. "Thank you for not taking advantage of things last night." Anna said. "Until things went bad I was ready for us to move on but . . ." She let herself trail off as she sat down and cut into the toast and eggs.

"I would never do something like that, Anna," he said to her. "I want us to be together but not like that."

"You still want us to be together?" She asked.

"Of course I do," he said to her after taking a bite if the food. "You may not believe it, but I do love you."

"And what about Raven?" Anna asked, "I don't mind if I know up front that we aren't dating exclusively but I want you to know. If we aren't then we will never, ever, make it into the bedroom."

"Do you really think that's what this is about?" he asked her. "Getting you into bed?" He paused and sipped his coffee. "If that's all I wanted I could have done that last night." He set his coffee down and looked at her. "I do want an exclusive relationship with you."

"I wasn't sure what you wanted since everything you said and did told me, and apparently Raven that we were exclusive." Anna said. "You owe it to Raven to try and patch things up at least so you two can talk again with out the hurt being so thick." Anna added.

Jana stepped through the doors and paused. She could tell by the looks of things that Anna had slept in her dress. "Is everything okay here?" She asked carefully.

Anna simply nodded and Jana moved to grab her back pack and put down her guitar then headed back toward the door to go to class.

"I'll talk to her but I don't know if she'll listen," Ian said, looking down at her plate.

"She is my friend. Do you know how hard this has been? One of the people I would normally have gone to to talk to about this whole situation if it had happened any other way and I couldn't because she hated you and loved you as much as I did." Anna said.

Ian looked at her then down at his plate again. "I understand, Anna, and I'm truly sorry." It sounded lame to him but he didn't know what else to say.

"You wanted me to talk to you." Anna said, "I'm trying to let you see things from our perspective. Do you even know that she took some loa and has gone off the station some where?" Anna asked. "She claimed she was sick but you and I both know better."

Ian looked at her and sighed. "I didn't know that," he said to her. "What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to stay away from me for a few days. Look deep into your heart and ask yourself which one of us you care the most about. Which one of us you don't want to be with out. Once you know that for sure even if it isn't me let me know so I can move on. Let her know so she can do the same." Anna said.

Ian looked at her for a long moment then nodded. It would be hard to stay away but he knew it was for the best. He turned his attention to his meal and ate quietly, afraid to make things worse.

Anna reached out and lifted his eyes toward her, "If it is her eventually we can be friends again but nothing more. I can't speak for her I don't know what she will decide in all of this." Anna said. As she had told Ian the drinking binge was her way of coping and sorting through things and here it was the morning after and she was thinking more clearly and rationally than she had since her heart had be broken by the man sitting in front of her.

Ian smiled at her as best he could. "I should get going. I still need to get cleaned up and changed before going to the office."

"Have a good day Ian." Anna said as she stood to clear the dishes from the table.

"I'll see you soon," he said to her, fighting the urge to hug her. He looked at her again then moved to the door.

Anna turned to watch him leave and let out a sigh. She wanted him to pick her but she wasn't going to let him do that without giving him time to think about what he wanted. She respected Raven's friendship too much to just take him without any thought of how she would take all this in. Anna really wanted to talk to Raven but for now it would have to wait. She moved into her room to change and get some more sleep.

Commander Anna Johnson
Chief of Operations/Second Officer

Commander Ian Cassey
Air Group Commander

Jana Johnson (NPC Anna Johnson)

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