Memory Lane

Posted on Wed Feb 23rd, 2011 @ 9:47pm by Captain Anna Johnson

1,173 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: On Typhon Station
Location: Johnson Quarters

Anna had called in sick the following morning. Jana had gone off with some of her friends after much assistance by Anna. She was trying to decide if she was not going to drink again after Jana told her how much she had hurt Aeshia. The night before was a huge blur. Her head was hurting but easing off as she nursed it with fluids. She would have to make amends with Aeshia if that was even possible.

She often did think of her as mother and had no idea why she would have told her what she did. The fact was like she told Raven her concept of family before now had been a father that abused her in more ways than one, a mother that was more concerned with protecting herself than her children and siblings that were dependent on her that she almost didn't follow her dreams of Starfleet hoping to protect them. Now her brothers were free from that and beginning to live her dream. Her sister was coming out of her shell and she continued to find men who ultimately hurt her and she just kept forgiving them because she forgave her father countless times. All she had ever sought from him was acceptance and now she wanted that in the men she dated. Did Ian really love her or was he manipulating her? Now she would have no way of knowing. Raven wouldn't talk to her and she pushed away the one other person she could have talked to about all of this.

In her drunken state she had done the same thing her father had done to her as a child. Crushed the person who was only trying to help and seek her love. Anna sighed again, ~Maybe I should have listened to Raven and just gone of by myself. Then I wouldn't have hurt anyone.~ Tears fell freely down her face now. She walked over to the kitchen where the half bottle of Irish whiskey had been put away the night before. She pulled it out and looked at it and memories flooded back to her.

She was six years old she had just found out she made top grades on her school report. She stood at the window waiting for her father to get home. He pulled up and staggered up the walkway she ran and opened the door excited, "Daddy guess what, I got top grades of anyone in my glass this grading period."

Her father looked at her with blood shot eyes the smell of alcohol came out of his every pore. "There you go again thinking you're better than everyone don't you. You even think you're better than me." he said and he rared back and back hand slapped her knocking her to the ground. She felt the all too familiar feeling of her arm snapping but she didn't scream out it would only make it worse. He spat at her and moved into the kitchen and grabbed another drink before plopping down into his recliner and downing it. Her mother brought out his dinner which he ate without a thank you before passing out in his chair.

Her mother saw Anna holding her arm and fighting back tears and sighed, "Come on lets see if I can fix it or I need to take you to the doctor." she said. Anna sat on a chair as her mother knitted the bone together again then moved to make sure the bruise that had formed on her cheek was healed as well. "There all better." her mother said with a smile as she placed Anna's food on the table. Anna ate quickly not tasting the food knowing is she didn't eat it now she wouldn't be allowed anything else until morning. She then ran out of the house and to the edge of their property where she had built a clubhouse. It had a cot and was well built. Sturdy enough she could sleep in it no matter what the weather was like as long as she took a heat source with her in cooler weather. She ran in and locked the door. This had started as a project she was working on with her father but after a few times of things ending like they just had she had finished it herself. "I'm going to keep studying hard and get into Starfleet." She said to the doll she held in her hands, "Then daddy will be proud of me."

Her memories went to sixteen years later. Her mother, father, brothers and sister stood there as she told them, "I got my first assignment. I leave for the ship tomorrow." Anna said excitedly. Her mother gave her a hug and moved to cook a celebration meal, Jana now the age she was in the first memory ran up to her, "Please don't go Anna or take me with you." She said. Anna wrapped her in a hug, "I can't take you with me right now but maybe we can set up something so you can visit me sometime."

Anna could tell her dad's mood now and so could her brothers after Jana let go they grabbed her and pulled her away as dad approached Anna.
"So you graduated the Academy and are off to explore the universe are you?" he asked his breath smelling like alcohol again. She stood there anticipating the back slap she knew was coming this time she blocked it. "I'm too big for that now dad." She said anger in her eyes.

He leered at her a moment he pulled back with the other hand and punched her with his fist. Anna blinked and with as much anger punched him back for the first time in her life sending him to the floor. "If you touch any of the rest of them and I find out about it I will come back and make sure you don't hurt them again." Anna said.

She walked into the kitchen, "I'm sorry mom, I've got to go." Anna said and grabbed her duffel bag. She gave her brothers and sister a hug then headed out for the transporter station. She would spend the night on Arcadia then catch a transport to her new home. She wouldn't stay in this house one moment more than she had to.

Her thoughts came back to the present and Anna was still holding the half full bottle in her hand. She reached up and opened the bottle and poured the rest of it down the drain. Never again was she going to drink it not for any reason. That was one thing Aeshia was wrong about, it didn't help the hurt it just made it worse, it caused you to hurt others and she was not going to do that ever again, she was not going to turn into her father.

She just hoped that somehow Aeshia would be able to forgive her for what she had done.

Captain Anna Johnson
Executive Officer
Starbase Typhon

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